The Heart of the Wounded Healer

“‘I realized I was not the only one crying.’  This is the heart of the wounded healer.”

These were the most powerful words I heard spoken at the recent World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia. Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle from Manila, in his keynote address, quoted this line in a letter he received from a young refugee woman, who had made her way the Philippines. As I listened to her story, tears came to my eyes, for I realized they were my words too.

A few months ago, my father went home to God after suffering 10 years with dementia. For those ten years, I was his caregiver while also being engaged in full-time parish ministry. These were challenging years for me and my family. But as I look back on them now, I realize they were also incredibly grace-filled moments of darkness and light with a deep conversion of heart.

God used the last 10 years to teach me how to love more deeply, tenderly, and compassionately.  As I embraced the wounded body, mind and heart of Jesus in my father, I allowed Jesus to embrace my own wounded heart and learned how to more fully and freely love while embracing the “gift-wounds” of each person I encountered. Pope Francis speaks of a “Spirituality of Encounter”; the call to encounter Jesus in each person, poor and vulnerable. God has taught me how to share my graced darkness and “wounded-ness” with God’s people in the many encounters I have shared with those who are also wounded caregivers. 

In my darkest moments, I realized with great gratitude, it was the love and care of my God and my Sisters which held and carried me in my pain and suffering, my weakness and vulnerability, my tiredness and frustration. It was the many kindnesses of my Sisters – day in and day out – that held me close to God. These Sisters became caregivers for me in the constant daily kindnesses they offered and I experienced… a short note, a call, a prepared dinner for my Dad, an extra shopping turn taken to free up some time for me, an offer to clean my charge in the convent so I could attend a parish meeting and get to bed at a decent hour. 

Cardinal Tagle spoke to the fact that we are all wounded healers and that it is within our “families” that we are healed and become wounded healers for others. For it is only when, through God’s grace, we embrace our own wounds that we can enter into the heart of Jesus and the heart of the world. There, in the heart of the wounded healer, filled with humble gratitude and compassion, we can share in the Mission of Jesus — living and working that all may be one!

Sister Christine Konopelski SSJ 

Sister Christine currently serves as Pastoral Associate at Our Mother of Consolation Parish in Philadelphia, PA. She is passionate about sharing her faith and helping others find God in their life. She enjoys spending time with family and friends, walking, reading, and painting.