Only the Shadow Knows

Daylight Saving Time ended today November 1, 2015 at 2 AM.  What a joy it was to wake up that morning in the light! As I write this reflection, it is almost 5 PM. Shadows are now falling.  The early morning light is being balanced with evening’s darkness. In a sense, as far as time goes, we robbed Peter to pay Paul.  As I glance out the window, I see Peter is ready now to collect his due. 

In her book Learning to Walk in the Dark, Barbara Bradford Taylor invites us to consider darkness as gift. When we were young we were discouraged from befriending darkness. As children, we were familiar with the instruction to come inside because it is getting dark. The message was clear. Darkness has a dangerous component. Don’t spend too much time there.

And, we don’t. Bradford draws our attention to our collective aversion to being in darkness.  We are hardly ever away from light. Shopping malls light up the night sky. Highway lights, traffic lights, parking lot lights always companion us.  In the midst of night, our homes are often bright as the noonday sun.

Long before Bradford shared her wisdom of the dark, Isaiah the prophet gave us a chance to see darkness in a different light. Isaiah writes,

        “I will give you treasures of darkness, riches hidden away, that you may know I

              am the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.”  Isaiah 45:3

In January of 1999, I made a winter retreat in Gloucester, MA. One afternoon I had been out for a walk and lost track of time. Realizing it was almost dinner time, an important part of any retreat, I began my return trek. The sun was setting.  Darkness was just arriving. With the absence of light I noticed my shadow.  It was ahead of me. I would venture to say, my shadow was leading me. My shadow would arrive “home” first.

I have never forgotten that moment. The experience reminds me how much I have learned from my shadow—the hidden part of me—the part I often avoid because it seems dark. 

As a Sister of Saint Joseph called to live a mission of unioning love, I need to learn to love the darkness. I cannot unite what I do not first accept. 

This winter, may we learn how to walk in the dark—companioned by God and one another—shadows included.

Marie O' Hagan SSJ

Sister Marie is a native of Philadelphia.  A Sister of St. Joseph for 37 years, Sister Marie has been involved in the ministry of education, campus ministry and parish ministry.