The Heart of the Wounded Healer

“‘I realized I was not the only one crying.’  This is the heart of the wounded healer.”

These were the most powerful words I heard spoken at the recent World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia. Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle from Manila, in his keynote address, quoted this line in a letter he received from a young refugee woman, who had made her way the Philippines. As I listened to her story, tears came to my eyes, for I realized they were my words too.

A few months ago, my father went home to God after suffering 10 years with dementia. For those ten years, I was his caregiver while also being engaged in full-time parish ministry. These were challenging years for me and my family. But as I look back on them now, I realize they were also incredibly grace-filled moments of darkness and light with a deep conversion of heart.

God used the last 10 years to teach me how to love more deeply, tenderly, and compassionately.  As I embraced the wounded body, mind and heart of Jesus in my father, I allowed Jesus to embrace my own wounded heart and learned how to more fully and freely love while embracing the “gift-wounds” of each person I encountered. Pope Francis speaks of a “Spirituality of Encounter”; the call to encounter Jesus in each person, poor and vulnerable. God has taught me how to share my graced darkness and “wounded-ness” with God’s people in the many encounters I have shared with those who are also wounded caregivers. 

In my darkest moments, I realized with great gratitude, it was the love and care of my God and my Sisters which held and carried me in my pain and suffering, my weakness and vulnerability, my tiredness and frustration. It was the many kindnesses of my Sisters – day in and day out – that held me close to God. These Sisters became caregivers for me in the constant daily kindnesses they offered and I experienced… a short note, a call, a prepared dinner for my Dad, an extra shopping turn taken to free up some time for me, an offer to clean my charge in the convent so I could attend a parish meeting and get to bed at a decent hour. 

Cardinal Tagle spoke to the fact that we are all wounded healers and that it is within our “families” that we are healed and become wounded healers for others. For it is only when, through God’s grace, we embrace our own wounds that we can enter into the heart of Jesus and the heart of the world. There, in the heart of the wounded healer, filled with humble gratitude and compassion, we can share in the Mission of Jesus — living and working that all may be one!

Sister Christine Konopelski SSJ 

Sister Christine currently serves as Pastoral Associate at Our Mother of Consolation Parish in Philadelphia, PA. She is passionate about sharing her faith and helping others find God in their life. She enjoys spending time with family and friends, walking, reading, and painting.

A Witness to Healing

I’ve wanted to be a Sister since I was in second grade. When I reflect on that desire, I recall that I was very much attracted to the sacred places and holy people I met in my young years. The attraction to Jesus – that desire to be God’s – was deeply satisfied on September 8, 1976 when I entered the Sisters of Saint Joseph!

My religious life is filled with meaningful experiences that continue to draw me closer to the Holy. Since 1991, I have been ministering in Camden, New Jersey. Every day, I see poverty, violence and suffering. There are so many people living in despair, darkness and devastation. In August 1995, a young mom came to Holy Name asking for help. Her 13-year-old daughter had been missing for two days. Tragically, her daughter was found brutally murdered the next day. They welcomed me into their home, their family, and their hearts. I had no idea how God would use me for the next fifteen years! As one year led to another, my life, as a Sister of Saint Joseph and as a social worker, allowed me to be with this family during a five year search for the killer and a 10 year wait for justice. The ministry of “companioning” families of murder victims evolved as others sought help with their traumatic loss. As an SSJ, I am given the opportunity to be faithfully attentive to these families who share their suffering. Their grief is very sacred to me. 

Sometimes people say to me “Camden is so dangerous and dealing with murder is so sad. I don’t know how you do it.” I am able to continue ministering to families because I am a witness to healing. With my own eyes, I have seen their resilient spirit restored as they survive the traumatic experience of the murder of someone they love deeply. I have experienced God’s faithfulness to those whose lives are changed forever and in my own life in the sacred place of suffering and loss.

There is a strength that comes from being powerless in the face of human tragedy. That powerlessness has led me to pray. When I tell others I am praying for them, I am always humbled by their relief and gratitude. +Jesus, comfort the suffering and console the brokenhearted. Use us to bring peace and justice in our world. Amen+

Helen Cole SSJ

Sister Helen grew up in Philadelphia. She graduated from John W. Hallahan Catholic Girls High School. She has taught in Philly, Baltimore, and Camden. She is currently a social worker at Guadalupe Family Services in Camden, NJ.

A Reflection on Surfing

Surfing is something that has always fascinated me. I find it amazing how surfers paddle out, sit quietly on their boards, scan the waves as they form, then pick the one they think is just right and in a burst of energy and grace they move with the wave. Sometimes they stand and attempt to ride the wave, other times they lie flat and allow the wave to run its course.  

 

 At the beach a couple of weeks ago, I watched a young would-be surfer run to the water’s edge with his board. He paused for a minute to survey the water and then in an instant he was in the water paddling with his board. He didn’t go too far out, just far enough to catch some small waves and he lay on his board and let the water bring him in. After doing this a few times he attempted to stand and after a few spills he "got it."  He was determined and he worked at it. What got my attention more than his success at surfing was his falling or being pushed off his board by the force of a wave.  At first he stiffened up when he landed in the water, then he just gracefully allowed the water to take him and it always brought him safely to the surface close to his board.

All of a sudden, I was struck with the realization, "Isn’t this what life and prayer are all about?" We bring our surf board, all we are, our gifts, blessings, to the shore of life. Ahead of us is the immensity of God’s love which we know through prayer and Eucharist will always bring us back to the shore of life. We take in all that surrounds us, look for the perfect wave to ride and allow God’s love to guide us sometimes gracefully, sometimes not so gracefully to exactly the right part of the shore. The trick is not to fight the wave, the water, but like my young surfer allow the water to catch us, hold us. There are very few perfect waves out there. When you find one, enjoy the ride. There is a grace- full -ness in allowing ourselves to fall into God’s love.

Mary Kay Kelley SSJ

Sister Mary Kay teaches Junior Theology at Archbishop Carroll. When there is an opportunity, she also works with Heartful Ministries giving retreats, planning prayer for conferences and writing for Liturgical Training Publications.

To Be a Sister of Saint Joseph Is to Be about Relationships

When I was a student at West Philadelphia Catholic High School for Girls in the 1960's, I recognized that there was something unique about the Sisters of Saint Joseph. They were among seven women religious communities who blessed us, students, each day with their gifts and expertise. What was unique about the SSJ's was their ability to relate to us personally - in the classroom, gymnasium, music corridor, lunchroom, publication offices and on the buses we shared with them on our rides back and forth. They touched my heart and helped to foster my religious vocation.

Now, as a Sister of Saint Joseph, I have the privilege to live each day what I observed as a teenager - a mission of active, inclusive love with its special emphasis on relationships.  We believe that "to be a Sister of Saint Joseph is to be about relationships."  This mission has carried me across boundaries and into the hearts and lives of persons I was privileged to meet through the past 50 years.  Imagine the opportunities I had in cities across this country, meeting persons of different genders, races, cultures, ages, experiences and in classrooms, churches, parish offices, soup kitchens and long-term-care facilities. I discovered new personal gifts; I grew in knowledge, spirituality, and awareness, learning that at our core, we are all one.

Recently, I lived with and shared life with six men and women, all so much younger than I am. We were bonded because we were all united by our experience of surviving a traumatic brain injury. We believed in one another, calling forth confidence and hope. My housemates amazed me with their encouragement and openness to share their stories. Because of them I believe that every day is a day to hope for the very best… to believe our prayers are being heard…to have faith good news is on its way and to know that anything can happen between yesterday and tomorrow.  

 My sister is also a Sister of Saint Joseph. Our parents and five siblings along with their spouses, children and grandchildren marvel at the way their lives have been expanded and enriched by having two sisters who are Sisters of Saint Joseph. It has been a mutual enrichment as we enjoyed being invited into their worlds. They are grateful for the new friends they have met through us along the way and for the abundant ways their worlds have been widened through our experiences. Along with them, I am so grateful for this amazing journey of being in relationship with all people, my new neighbors included, who trust and believe in me and in our mission.

Sister Nancy Roche SSJ

 S. Nancy, in addition to having experienced a wide variety of ministries as a Sister of Saint Joseph, also serves as a facilitator for other religious congregations.

The Music in My Heart

The words to Desiderata were on my half of the bedroom wall and the Beach Boys music blared from the car radio. Three thousand girls and I roamed the halls of Prendie. And, my favorite classes were math and science. I went on to college and graduate school as a chemistry major. But, there was this other “thing” that kept poking at my heart.

So, I finished my degrees and I kept listening for God. How did that happen? I know it sounds a little crazy, but the best I can determine is that there were four things:

1.     A good friend who had entered earlier

2.     Mark 10: the Rich Young Man parable (how could he walk away?)

3.     The book, The Great Lion of God (about St. Paul), and

4.     Music from Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar.

And that’s how God speaks to me… even still, even today, through those I encounter, books and most often music. I know now that God drew me to and keeps me with the SSJs because of our charism and mission. But why one enters and why one stays are different and yet similar. I have always been in education and I have always loved it. I wanted others to know the passion I had for chemistry and how it makes the world go round but my first love was classroom teaching.  To show how God works from atom… to Eve… is mind-blowing and to care for the earth and all of creation is awesome!

Thirty-eight of my 40 years of education, have been in SSJ affiliated or sponsored schools. Each is filled with the charism and mission of the Sisters of Saint Joseph. But, what I have loved most over the years was the interaction I was able to have with the students, teachers, parents, and the dear neighbor I met as teacher and administrator. There were the great times, and the times I felt I needed to be Solomon-the-Wise. I often think back to decisions which may have changed a young person’s life and how I tried my very best to listen with my head and my heart and my God. I did see the face of God in so many eyes and, so often after the encounter, I would hear God’s voice in a special way.

I hear a singing voice in my prayer.  A minstrel follows me, whispers sweet music in the ears of this one who never took a music lesson in her life. I know I am with God who is always there when I hear the song, whatever it may be. It becomes the mantra of my day and my night. It wakes me and puts me to sleep; best of all, it calls me deeper and deeper to a place where I know my God.

            With His melody He NAMES me   

            The WORDS that form my life
            He has called me to be 

I know, “My song will be for you forever, you the music in my heart!”

Sister Kathleen Letts SSJ

Sister Kathleen Letts has spent her ministerial life in education —  as teacher and administrator.  Currently she ministers at Chestnut Hill College.