Lessons from My Students

In the musical The King and I, Anna becomes the teacher of the King’s many children. After getting to know them, she explains in song that “When you become a teacher, by your pupils you’ll be taught.” I have learned the wisdom of Anna’s words over and over in 35 years of teaching.

Early in my teaching career, I was assigned to first grade, and unexpectedly had 55 six-year-olds in what was supposed to be two classes with a master teacher and me. There was just me. One of the bible stories in the first-grade religion book was the story of Abraham and Isaac. This was, I thought, my first test. I told the story, and the children seemed to be hanging on my every word. Success!

The next day I asked, “Do you remember the name of the man who loved God so much that he was willing to give God his son, and then God said, “You don’t have to do that?” All the children raised their hands, eager to respond. I called on Justine, and this is what she said, “I remember, that was Lincoln.”  

I love that story, and I loved learning from Justine. I learned from her that I know what I’m saying, but I don’t necessarily know what you’re hearing. I learned that context is important, and that listening to my students is even more important.

Justine’s lesson helps me in working on a committee, in local community, in congregational meetings and in facilitating groups. I think of her when I realize that I’ve fallen into an “assumption trap,” assuming that I know about someone else and how s/he’ll respond.

I think of that lesson when I realize that my “issues” with another person arise because of the way I’m hearing what she’s saying. And I’m quite sure that sometimes God wants to say something to me, but I can’t hear because of my expectations and my limited context. I pray for openness and freedom. 

Relationships are at the heart of our mission as Sisters of Saint Joseph. My relationship with my then-first grader (now an accountant and a graduate of Chestnut Hill College) has taught me to cherish wisdom coming from unexpected sources.

Merilyn Ryan SSJ

Sister Merilyn grew up in Hudson County, NJ, where she met the Sisters of Saint Joseph at Holy Family Academy in Bayonne.  Much of her work has been in education. She especially loves teaching math, which “challenges us to face our unexamined assumptions.” (But that’s another blog…)