My days are filled with privileged visits with patients
and families. And often, as I head out
the door of a hospital room I hear myself say, “Now where did that come from?”
or “Did you hear what you just said?”
One of my favorites has to do with a woman patient whom the nurses and
doctors described as depressed. I had
had at least three visits with this woman before she went home. All three
visits did not seem to go anywhere. Two
weeks went by and a nurse on oncology sent for me to visit “Helen” who was back
for treatment and was despondent. I went
to Helen’s room, introduced myself, indicated that we had met before and
offered a time and space for identifying and responding to her needs. Again I got no response, no eye contact, and
no seeming acknowledgement of engagement.
The next thing I hear coming out of my mouth is, “Helen, I don’t know
what would be a comfort to you at this time, but I could talk with you, be
silent with you, I could even just curl up like a cat and be at your side so
you are not alone.” With that there was
a giggle and a turning to meet my eyes.
Then, Helen resumed her previous shut down.
The next morning the same nurse sent for me again to go to
Helen’s room. She did not give me any new
information. Helen had the shade up, her
hair fixed, she greeted me coming into the room and we had a “regular” pastoral
visit. The nurse later told me she had
sent for me just because she wanted me to see the difference which had unfolded
after I had visited the previous day.
Helen had two more hospitalizations before she died. I found out she had three cats at home.
God is so simple with each of us. God says, “Can I just curl up at your side
and be with you through this time of grief, of emptiness, of insecurity, of
loneliness, of confusion?” “Can I just
be with you?”
Simply,
Peg Conboy
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